The Sort of Christian Who Wears Blue Nail Polish

Why I believe legalistic expectations should go out of style

People can be very easily categorized and divided.

There are people who sleep with people they haven’t married first, and there are people who do not.

There are people who fall in love with people of the same gender, and there are people who do not.

There are people who dye their hair green, pierce their belly buttons, get back tats, play beer pong, and use four-letter words for emphasis.

And there are people who do not.

There are two kinds of people in the world: the Do Not Do people who busy themselves creating these kinds of lists, and everyone else who is just trying to be human and hurt as few people as possible in the process.

I used to belong to the Do Not Do group. Legalism was the brand of Christianity I lived and breathed. I had a lot of expectations for others and held myself to the same standards. It was important for me to be perfect. I followed all the rules. When I realized I’d broken one, I worked myself sick trying to change. I wanted to be loved. I thought this was how you get love.

By some people’s standards, I was the model Christian.

It’s taken me a long time to finally be at peace with the idea that being a good person is more important than being a good Christian.

It’s also taken me a long time to recognize my privilege.

Following all the rules is easy for someone who is white, English-speaking, heterosexual, able-bodied, financially stable, of average intelligence, and married with two healthy children. It wasn’t hard for me to blend in with the Christian crowd and follow all their rules, because the crowd looked/acted/thought like me.

All of that imploded when I got divorced. Suddenly I was not in the happy majority of happily married heteros. No longer could I make judgments about others’ relationship fallouts or their…

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