Boomer Blues

Teacher Log

Yesterday I went to the local movie house where I saw several of my high school students. I couldn’t help but notice that all of them broke into laughter upon seeing me, which was mildly discomfiting. Senior Joe M in the ticket booth laughed so hard when I stepped up in my turtleneck and blue jeans — my standard costume at school and everywhere — that he had to take his break, exit the booth and have his manager sell me the ticket.

I looked at K with a question in my eyes. She shook her head, shrugged, gave me a half-smile, as if to say: Why even bother trying to understand teenagers?

Of course, understanding teenagers is my job.

A few minutes later, K and I were reclining in our seats, eating popcorn and Milk Duds when sophomores Anna and Lindsey scooted by, searching for their seats. They looked up, saw me in front of them, and started giggling so hard that Lindsey dropped her drink at my feet, which caused them to then literally run out of the theater laughing. I don’t think they came back inside, even after the movie started.

“I guess they’re not used to seeing their teacher outside the classroom,” I said.

“Guess not,” K said.

After the movie, as we were walking through the mall back to our car, we passed eight of my students huddled together around a tiny metal table at one of the cafes. I brightened up, waved and said, “Hi everybody! See you Monday!”

Now, I ask you, is there anything funny about that statement? I didn’t think so. I was merely acknowledging them, and saying hello like a normal person would.

But suddenly, the table suddenly got weirdly quiet, the way it does sometimes when I enter the classroom. Then they glanced around at each other with arched eyebrows — a conspiratorial moment from which K and I were entirely excluded — and, for some reason, these kids exploded into hysterics. Nina J laughed so hard that she fell off the arm of her chair and banged her knee on the table leg, which caused everybody, including her, while grabbing her knee in obvious pain, to laugh even harder. It was as if they were possessed. Nina was writhing on the ground laughing, entirely out of control, Steven B fell on top of her, and the table roared. K and I just stood there, taking…

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